Love it Fearless! Thanks for your comment runner. You are wise too! I thought he had potential and failed to see I had potential of my own! What is it about us that makes us think he is the big money prize and we are some sad consolation prize for him. We have it the wrong way round. I agree that the only potential we should recognise and bet on is our own. Thanks for the thoughts. It really helps to have friends in my computer!!
Gambling - Wikipedia
All of you, really, thanks. For me the lottery is love, family and intimacy with someone I can count on, and who I feel knows and loves me — not just getting married, by any means.
I just wrote a long rant about what really goes through my mind when I ask myself what I think my potential is. I am not entirely sure what to say and we could intellectualize the crap out of it all, but, I can only say from my own experience that it was only when I had come to a gentle sense that it would be ok to be on my own not hiding away or bitter, which is why I say gentle — ie still went out and took fun risks, like saying yes to that party or music gig where I would not know anyone , and really focused on realigning my professional life with my personal values making some big changes, but in small steps — can be overwhelming and impractical to make complete overhaul the requirement and practiced being easier on myself and saying nice things to myself, that I also got in a position where new man would have been recognized and treasured.
I have accepted that I will always have to monitor my childhood anxieties desire to figuratively set fire to things but massive difference now I feel good about myself, what I have to offer myself anyway etc. You are wonderful and witty people, so be lighter with yourselves. Not alot going on, keep making bad decisions, or keep being in pain, has lead me to look to someone else to make my life for me.
I look to them to resuce me. When I first met my ex I was a very busy person who probably seemed pretty aloof and very, very put together. From his perspective, I probably looked like a fake. And I kind of was. Pretending to be otherwise only sets up disappointment on both ends and a lot of wasted time. The only potential you can successfully bet on is your own, and that should be a pretty sure thing.
Similar with the EUM after that….forum2.quizizz.com/map136.php
Bettor Off Single: Why Commitment Is A Bad Gamble For Men
I kept thinking that if I could just…. True true true true true. This is how I wasted 2 years with the ex, who texted and managed down my expectations, and very ham-fistedly future-faked. A guy at work is currently flirting with me, and you know what?
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Gee, it makes a nice change to have someone actually doing a bit of pursuing, and acting interested. The ex did neither; I did all the work! Stay cool.
It pisses you off and frustrates the pig. Not my lines.
I wish they were. I got it from a movie or something.
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So why do so many of us try to make something or someone fit into our picture? It never, ever, ever works. I think most of the blogger here agree on that. So why do we try? Did I finally attract my soul mate? Or is he here for some other reason? Fantasy is a powerful drug. Thankfully I have gotten wiser in my old age. We attract people into our life for a reason. You have something to gain, learn, contribute. Somehow or for some reason, you may not even be aware of, you attracted them into your life. However, once that reason materializes, the reasons I attracted this man, no longer exist.
It is natural to want to fix it, save it, change it or grow with it. Thankfully I now get it! Even if you never see him again? Hi Janelle, just read your post. Nat- you are right on the money again this time! I also agree that we look for that potential for a fairytale ending.
Turn this on his head. He made me these promises. Only last week he did x,y,z. Because if you do, that means one day another woman could go after YOUR husband. If this is affecting your health it may be time to get professional help. Your story is no different from all the OWs here. As long as you stay he has no reason to leave. Bri I he wanted to leave his marriage he would leave it, not be having affair s.
You sure are betting on potential that he does not have.
He can dress up all his excuses as reasons! For whatever reason. You know this, so you should know that you are not waiting for him to leave, you are waiting for him to WANT to leave. Put another way, you are not waiting for him to make up his mind about you, you are waiting for him to change his mind about you.
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Leave the madness behind; you are throwing good money after bad. He is married. With children. Who wants to be that woman? It is a contradiction in terms. If he is living with a woman she is current, not ex. I would like to give you some support if possible. I am a recovering OW after a 2 year affair with a MM. The information really helped me, although there are still moments when I remember the potential I imagined.
It is so very sad how similar we all sound. We bet on potential we probably imagined and then the denial starts cracking. It sounds as though you may be at that point? That sucks. His response was stupid. Simply put, he has choosen to stay with his wife. So sorry for you and for me. I bet on the wrong horse. Worse, he has choosen her, not me or you. Even sorrier still.